While most people I know are sending of their little ones to the first day of school, I have an overwhelming sadness. Today would be Brook's 10th birthday. Everyone told me it would get easier as I never got to see her or hold her. She died at 5 months in utero and I haven't "gotten over it"to this day. Sure I don't go around miserable or feeling sorry for myself all the time. But days like today are really hard. To think of all the things I don't get to do with my child.
I hear comments about how I got to raise 2 boys that aren't biologically mine. That I should feel blessed. Those 2 boys don't speak to me anymore since their Dad and I divorced. I don't get to have children to habe over for holidays or to call to tell me they love me.
I have an amazing family with small children that love their "Sheesha" so very much. I know how blessed I am in my life.
But please don't tell sometime that has had a miscarriage or had their baby die in utero or die only a few hours after they are born something dumb like it gets easier or at least you didn't get to know them or they are in a better place. Brook would have been in the best place in my arms.
I had my melt down this weekend as I do about once a year. I'm fine, but you never know what hurt someone is suffering. Please just love that person.
I don't need words of apology about Brook. I honor her every year. Just like you do with your children on their birthdays. I just felt the need to share and give people advice on how to care for rise like me. Just show you care.
