This is SUPER LONG and really a rant to myself. I almost didn't publish it and decided that for those that really want to read it - you can and it really is for me to release all my thoughts and ideas.
I have had my A-HA moment. I have been making changes to my lifestyle and then I have a backslide moment or 12 before I realize that I am not doing well.
This week I had an awful "stomach bug." I was told by several people that I got it from the dentist as it was the same day I went. I really believed that to be true, it made sense. But now - I really don't think so.
I started feeling better on Thursday and didn't eat too much and was able to keep food down. Friday, I started feeling bad again, but figured I just wasn't 100% yet.
I went to Happy Hour on Friday with a good friend and had a few beverages. I had made a pact with myself that I would only have alcohol once a week so I didn't over indulge (as I do when I drink). I felt fine on Saturday, so was happy that my tummy was back to "normal" (normal for me).
My niece and nephew's birthday party at Mr. Gatti's on Saturday - led me to eat 1 piece of pizza and some cheese sticks and a few bites of cake. Then a few of us went to a new bar in RR - The Brass Tap. I had a flight of beer (4 small taster beers) and a beer based cocktail - it tasted like a Summer Shandy (beer/lemonade). Still feeling fine. Went to dinner at Reunion Grille- because why not add insult to injury while I'm at it. After that I had water for the rest of the evening.
This morning I woke up at 5:45 - sick as a dog. I can't keep anything down.
Well - DUH Alicia.
Let's go over what I just said - I had a LOT of gluten. I had greasy food. I basically put a ton of crap in my body from Friday night until Saturday night. My body doesn't like it.
I know better.
Brings me to my point. I know what I need to do, I do it most of the time. I'd say that most of the time I do the right things. I don't put crap in my car - I put gasoline in my car, so it goes. I get regularly scheduled maintenance. I maintain my vehicle so I know I can rely on it to get me where I need to go. But, I can't manage to do that with my own body.
I get frustrated when I hear people say that they didn't lose weight this week when I know for a fact that they ate crap or drank alcohol or didn't work out. I get angry when I hear people talk about how bad they feel from whatever ailment they have, but they aren't taking the proper measures to help themselves feel better and are relying on some pill to do all the work for them. I become completely irate when I hear someone talking about how they hate their job, or their relationship - but they aren't doing anything to find another job, or another relationship.
But....I have realized why it makes me so upset - because I can see myself in those people, not taking action on what I need to do. I'm not saying that I haven't made forward progress in my life -as I have made leaps and bounds from where I was 5 years ago. I don't expect to be "perfect" all the time, after all I am human, but I need to increase my awareness of what my choices are doing to my body.
I am 38 years old, I have celiac disease, fibromyalgia, more food allergies than I will list and high anxiety.
Celiac disease - Some people don't understand and it is hard. Eating something with gluten makes me violently ill - I will spare you with those details - but just know from both ends. I get the "gluten rash" all over my arms that gives away that I haven't been eating the way I should.
Fibromyalgia - there is no "magic pill" to make it go away - pain level goes from tolerable to unbearable depending on what day it is. I know that if I ate "clean" that would help my pain level immensely.
Food Allergies - I know that I make light of this all the time - "that would kill me" but in all seriousness - I have a LOT of food allergies. My "TOP food allergies are: Gluten (duh), Milk(I'm allergic to the milk proteins), Peanuts, Shellfish and Red Snapper (I know weird). Some of the lesser "reactive" allergies include sugar and honey (which are in EVERYTHING).
High Anxiety - I have taken medication for this before and let me tell you - I call that the Zombie Years. See when you have high anxiety, you don't sleep that well. So, they give you medication for the anxiety and then something else to sleep. Then you are a groggy, zombie like person for your awake hours. Do you know what helps with anxiety? Eating healthy and exercise - CRAZY!
Oh and the newest thing - Vitamin D deficiency. Like so bad the doctor himself called me and gave me directions on how much of a supplement I needed to take and to get out in the sun. So, when I started researching - guess what - those with Celiac disease can't absorb Vitamin D or Calcium through food - because of the damage that has been done to our intestines. How did I not get told this before? And Vitamin D deficiency can make your pain so much worse.
I have learned not to complain about my tummy troubles and my body pain. When people ask, I will tell them if I feel bad that day or if it is a "good day". My food allergies are discussed on a regular basis as it seems that food is a center part of being social. My anxiety - I think everyone who knows me knows when I am having a bad anxiety day.
What is my freaking point already? I have to make a real change in my lifestyle. I will say I am going to and I will do really well for a bit. Then I fall off and HARD.
I am making a commitment to myself to make choices for the long run instead of the instant gratification. Today I will be focusing on what my short term and long term goals are for me.
Note to myself:
I have been working out on a regular basis since March. But, I can work out ALL day everyday and it won't matter if I am eating garbage even for 24 hours a week. Eat healthy food that will be the fuel you need for your body, not the stuff that is going to leave you stranded on the side of the road.
The goals I am going to share as of this moment:
Continue my current workout plan
Make weekly menu plans so I can have my healthy choices in front of me (Planning for me is key)
I am going to make my specific goals as far as how much by when in regards to weight loss and/or inches. I am going to come up with non-food rewards. I am not going to share those goals. Why? They aren't for anyone other than myself. I am not doing a workout plan/diet. I am having a complete lifestyle makeover. I am going to eat healthy and exercise in hopes that is will make me feel better as a whole. When I focus on doing it for my health, the weight loss/specific size pants goals will come along with that as a side effect.
